A Call to Battle!

As they say in the fighter pilot world: Fight's on!

On January 19, 2012, Pope Benedict XVI addressed a group of American bishops in Rome for their ad limina visits and gave them their marching orders. He let them know, in no uncertain terms, that America cannot rest on her laurels of religious freedom. The Church and all she represents are under assault in the United States:

[I]t is imperative that the entire Catholic community in the United States come to realize the grave threats to the Church’s public moral witness presented by a radical secularism which finds increasing expression in the political and cultural spheres. The seriousness of these threats needs to be clearly appreciated at every level of ecclesial life. Of particular concern are certain attempts being made to limit that most cherished of American freedoms, the freedom of religion. Many of you have pointed out that concerted efforts have been made to deny the right of conscientious objection on the part of Catholic individuals and institutions with regard to cooperation in intrinsically evil practices. Others have spoken to me of a worrying tendency to reduce religious freedom to mere freedom of worship without guarantees of respect for freedom of conscience.

Continue reading at HLI America

Who said anything about ignorance?

As I mentioned, my latest piece over at HLI America takes on the "experts" who think they know better than I do what my children need to know about sex and when they need to know it. As expected, the first commenter is outraged because she assumes I want to keep my children ignorant and in the dark about sexuality. I never said that. I said I will teach my children. Why does she assume that parents are incapable of providing essential information about sex to their children?  If anyone wants to wander over there and offer some support in the com box, I would appreciate it!

The "experts" want to tell your child about sex

If you, like most parents, are anxious about how to impart a healthy and moral view of sexuality to your children, a coalition of  ”experts” want to come to your rescue. They have decided what your children need to know about sex and when they need to know it.
The Journal of School Health published the special report, National Sexuality Education Standards: Core Content and Skills, K–12. The purpose of these standards is to make a radical agenda normative for all public schools in the United States.
According to the “experts,” what should your child know? By the end of the second grade, your child needs to, “Identify different kinds of family structures,” which means that they not only want your child to know about traditional two-parent families, single-parent families, blended divorced families and gay-parent families, but they want them to see each of these as equally acceptable and good. In addition, by the end of the second grade your child should be able to, “Provide examples of how friends, family, media, society and culture influence ways in which boys and girls think they should act.” Notice how family is lumped in with the media, society and culture as just another source of influence to be critically evaluated – by children in the second grade.

Continue reading at HLI America

Isn't she talented?

My aspiring architect daughter is letting her creative juices flow as she starts up her jewelry business. Take a look at her creations.

Robert McCartney gets all selectively sanctimonious

What did I tell you? As soon as people criticized the actions of Page Melton (now Page Ivie), the powers that be at the Washington Post came down on them, characterizing them as judgmental cowards. Columnist Robert McCartney goes on to say that those who object to a woman divorcing her disabled husband so she can marry another man and get on with her life are just out of touch with the American mainstream:

These writers have every right to voice their disapproval of Ivie’s actions on the grounds that their view of the marriage covenant is different from hers – and, given the national divorce rate, different from that of most Americans.  

 I agree with Mr. McCartney that hateful comments offer nothing to the discussion. No matter how much we disagree, we should always try to respond with charity. However, Robert McCartney has never uttered a peep over the hateful comments directed towards Sarah Palin, the Tea Party, clergy, Catholics in general, or any one else with whom he has ideological differences. No, it is only when the comments go over the top in criticism of one of his beloved liberals that he gets his feathers ruffled.

And surely Mr. McCartney isn't suggesting that because many Americans are choosing to solve their marital issue by getting a divorce, we shouldn't think getting a divorce is any big deal? Is that how he determines what is right and wrong? Once over fifty percent of people engage in a behavior it becomes morally acceptable and good? I can't imagine having to consult the polls every time I needed to make a moral decision. I will just continue to base my choices on the firm principles of natural law as taught by the Catholic Church, built on the Rock of Peter. The shifting sands of popular culture offer no foundation for building an ethical life.
Page Melton did what she did so that she could become Page Ivie. She can lay out all the justification for her actions that she wants. I will leave it to God to pass judgment. What I can say is that no matter how she wants to spin it she did not keep her vow to stay married to her husband in sickness and health until parted by death. Her first husband is very much alive and she is no longer legally married to him. So be honest. Don't sugar coat it. Admit what you did. You found being married to a man with brain damage was just too hard so you quit. You divorced him. You married someone else. You still look after your first husband. But you are no longer legally married to him.  If it is all so wonderful and noble, why try to paint it as something it is not?

All parents are homeschoolers!

I strayed from a strictly bioethics topic to write on parenting over at HLI America.

We are all homeschoolers. Some of us may seek more outside help to cover English literature, calculus or social studies, but the crucial education of our children in truth and virtue begins at home, and begins with parents. This means it is our responsibility to form our children in the principles of a culture of life.
That is a very high sounding ideal, but what are the practical nuts and bolts components of raising children of faith and virtue? First and foremost, parents can show their commitment to the dignity of every child when they are open to the gift of life and welcome each new family member as a manifestation of God’s love. Supporting a culture of life must be a family activity and can be accomplished through both corporal and spiritual works of mercy.

Please read the whole thing here!

Marriage is for a lifetime

I have been struggling for four days to figure out how to write a post on this article without sounding harsh and judgmental. I have finally given up and will just have my say. The title of the article is:

 

A family learns the true meaning of the vow ‘in sickness and in health’

 

The thing is, I don’t think they learned the true meaning at all. The gist of the story is that at age 46, Robert Melton suffered a stroke and a heart attack. His brain suffered from lack of oxygen but he survived. He was conscious and conversant but had some mental disabilities. He had an incomplete memory of his family but did eventually remember his wife and daughters. He needed a very structured environment so he was placed in an assisted living facility. The family had a healthy and happy routine of visiting every Saturday, while Page also visited a few days during the week. Then Page reconnects with an old friend, Allan, who is getting divorced. They hit it off and develop a relationship. They even include Robert in the relationship by visiting him together. The next thing you know this old friend is proposing marriage and Page is accepting. Of course, there is this problem that she is still married to Robert. So she divorces Robert, marries Allan, moves the whole family to St. Louis, and moves Robert to a new assisted living center in St. Louis. He is part of their “blended family”.

 

I am sure it was devastating for Page to find, that as a relatively young woman, her life would not take the fairytale path of marriage, two kids, and happily-ever-after. But that disappointment does not justify her abandoning her marriage vows. She married Robert “in sickness and in health as long as we both shall live”. The vows do not say “in sickness—but not too sick”.

 

I feel for Page. I really do. But what does it say about our culture’s view of marriage when the Washington Post holds up this story as something noble and wonderful? Is marriage really so plastic that we can mold it into anything that gives us earthly pleasure?

 

This view is so selfish. Marriage is not about me, but about total self-giving of myself to my spouse. It is a vocation. It is a calling to serve God as a couple in whatever manner God has chosen for us. In sickness and in health. In times of wealth and times of poverty. During times of joy and during times of sadness.

 

Perhaps this story hit me so hard because I had the rug pulled out from under me over the last couple of years. My husband was diagnosed with cancer in 2010. I have endured the physical pain, the chemotherapy, and the uncertainty with him ever since.  I’ve spent hours on my knees scrubbing the bathroom floor grout to keep our house as antiseptic as possible when the chemotherapy left him susceptible to infection. I have spent even more hours on my knees in prayer.

 

So I guess there is part of me that feels really angry that the Washington Post says my sacrifice is meaningless and totally unnecessary. I could just go find someone else who will give me an easier life as long as I remain kind and supportive to my current husband.  But I don’t serve the Washington Post. I serve God. This is not how I envisioned our retirement years. Yet this is what God has offered us. And I say “yes”. I say “fiat!” I say “Thy will be done.” That is the true meaning of "in sickness and in health."

 

Life isn’t always fair and bad things happen. But every challenge is an opportunity for virtue. It is an opportunity to grow in holiness. God did not make us for happiness on this earth. He made us for happiness in Heaven.