"Spiritual Injuries"

Curt Jester has an absolutely hilarious list of “Spiritual Injuries”. Read the entire list but these are some of my favorites:

Cranium Sprain: Occurs when straining to come up with a charitable explanation for someone's actions when none are evident.

Tabernacle whiplash: Happens to some looking back and forth in a rapid action trying to spot the tabernacle in a church.

Inclusive Language Twitch: A nervous condition experienced by readers at Mass who strain to convert male pronouns into inclusive language on the fly. Breakdowns after the realization that they forgot to add a "and sister" after saying brother are known to occur.

Vocal Cord Spasm: Caused by attempting to sing unsingable liturgical music that resides in nobody's vocal range except possibly porpoises and whales.

Leoretardation: Disease that results in reduced mental capability where the sufferer thinks that liturgical dance is a good idea in bringing people closer to God in worship.