Cranium Sprain: Occurs when straining to come up with a charitable explanation for someone's actions when none are evident.
Tabernacle whiplash: Happens to some looking back and forth in a rapid action trying to spot the tabernacle in a church.
Inclusive Language Twitch: A nervous condition experienced by readers at Mass who strain to convert male pronouns into inclusive language on the fly. Breakdowns after the realization that they forgot to add a "and sister" after saying brother are known to occur.
Vocal Cord Spasm: Caused by attempting to sing unsingable liturgical music that resides in nobody's vocal range except possibly porpoises and whales.
Leoretardation: Disease that results in reduced mental capability where the sufferer thinks that liturgical dance is a good idea in bringing people closer to God in worship.
KITCHEN TABLE CHATS
Pull up a chair in my domestic church and let's chat!
I have worn many labels (Not in any particular order): Catholic, Wife, Mom,Gramma, Doctor, Major, Soccer Mom, Military Wife, Professor, Fellow.
All of these filter my views of the world. I hope that like St. Monica, I can through prayer, words and example, lead my children and others to Faith.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Curt Jester has an absolutely hilarious list of “Spiritual Injuries”. Read the entire list but these are some of my favorites: