KITCHEN TABLE CHATS
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I have worn many labels (Not in any particular order): Catholic, Wife, Mom,Gramma, Doctor, Major, Soccer Mom, Military Wife, Professor, Fellow.
All of these filter my views of the world. I hope that like St. Monica, I can through prayer, words and example, lead my children and others to Faith.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
My Deprived Kids
Some might say my children are deprived. For most of their childhood we have not had cable television. In the last two years I subscribed to the bare minimum of cable television in order to get a cable internet connection. (Our current home is not eligible for the phone company’s DSL service) We do not get MTV, Nickelodeon, Disney, or a host of other cable channels. For this reason we have avoided a large chunk of the ridiculous drivel that passes as television entertainment. Recently, I was listening to mothers discuss one of the latest reality shows that engages their daughters, MTV’s My Super Sweet Sixteen.
This show documents the “travails” of wealthy teen girls as they plan their over-the-top sweet sixteen parties. Of course, each of the girls is presented with a new car for her birthday. The parents tolerate pouting and ingratitude as the gross materialism fails to satisfy these spoiled divas’ expectations.
Unfortunately, I am beginning to see these excesses creep into the lives of the not so affluent. My daughter was recently invited to a “sweet sixteen” party that involved a Hummer limo transporting twenty girls to a dinner theater for an evening of food and entertainment. I walked into a convention center hotel recently and encountered a bevy of young girls in formals and young men in suits. I thought it might be a high school prom. No, this was another sweet sixteen party. Soon the honoree showed up in her limo complete with a sparkling tiara in her perfectly coiffed hair.
The good news is my own daughter turned sixteen a few months ago. Her birthday was a gathering of a few girls for a sleep over and rented movies. I made her birthday cake and decorated it with the Trans-Siberian Orchestra guitar motif. The girls were all modestly dressed. There were no excessive piercings or tattoos. There were simple gifts, classic rock on the stereo, and plenty of laughter.
How did I get away with such a modest affair? I guess we have never indulged in excessive material celebrations so there was no reason to expect anything different now. Not having cable television, attending Mass every Sunday, expecting children to speak to adults with a respectful “yes ma’am” or “yes sir” impressed on my children that we set our own standards and do not march to the drum of society at large. This family resistance to lower cultural norms has helped the kids resist the individual pressure of their peers.
My kids are not perfect. However, with a great deal of prayer and vigilant parenting we are getting through our third teenager without a significant rebellion or behavioral crisis. I do wish their rooms were neater. I wish the boys would drive a little slower. But for the most part, I really enjoy my teens. They have not turned into monsters. They have grown into young adults that are interesting to talk to. They cherish their faith. They seek to serve. Maybe a little “deprivation” is a good thing.