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I have worn many labels (Not in any particular order): Catholic, Wife, Mom,Gramma, Doctor, Major, Soccer Mom, Military Wife, Professor, Fellow.

All of these filter my views of the world. I hope that like St. Monica, I can through prayer, words and example, lead my children and others to Faith.
"The important thing is that we do not let a single day go by in vain without putting it to good use for eternity"--Blessed Franz Jägerstätter

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Driving Home a Few Points

I’ve been thinking about driving quite a bit lately. First of all, we have five drivers in the house and three vehicles. This means I am doing a bit of advanced logistical planning to make sure everyone has a way to summer school, soccer practice, work, piano lessons, Scouts, and social events. And I thought our pace of activities would slow a bit once school was out!

However, what really concerns me is having my three oldest children out and about in DC metro traffic. Anyone who has ever driven in this area knows that a great many of the drivers view traffic laws as mere suggestions and assume these rules do not apply to them. It is necessary to be ever vigilant and on guard. As an experienced driver, I find driving around here challenging. For the inexperienced it can be fatal. This is especially true when alcohol is involved. Once again our community has suffered its annual graduation party tragedy.

And so the defining image of the 2007 graduation season will be a white convertible Volkswagen Cabriolet, upside down, its roof gone, and four young lives gone with it. Two 18-year-old West Potomac graduates and two George Mason University students were killed late Thursday when their car suddenly veered into the path of a tractor-trailer on a ramp from the Capital Beltway. A fifth teenager, a 17-year-old West Potomac student, was hospitalized after being cut out of the wreckage. She was released yesterday afternoon, authorities said.

I must be clear that the accident investigation is still ongoing and there has been no evidence released that the driver was drinking. However, alcohol was found in the car and none of the five occupants of the car were of legal drinking age.

I wish I could say I have the answer to stop the senseless loss of life in auto accidents by teens. I don’t. Rich Leonardi reflects on this as well.

Unfortunately, if anyone suggested bumping back the legal driving age by one year, every cheap labor-dependent retailer from here to Bentonville, Arkansas would flood the nation's statehouses with lobbyists offering statistics about how much safer teen-driving is than, say, teen chainsaw-juggling.

I do have some suggestions.

1. Be an uncool parent. Know where your kids are going, with whom they are going, and what they are doing. Make them check in when they change locations. Have them home by midnight. Nothing good happens after midnight. Wait up for them so they know they will have to face you when they walk in the door.

2. Do not buy your teen a sporty car. If you buy a car that looks like it belongs on the NASCAR circuit your teen will drive it like a racecar driver. All of my teens have driven the family minivan. It doesn’t get many style points, but it doesn’t tempt them to imitate Jeff Gordon either.

3. A driver’s license is a privilege, not a right. You, not the state, determines when your child is old enough to drive. My rule: boys do not get a license until their Boy Scout Eagle project is done. That means my oldest was a high school senior and my next one was a high school junior before they got their licenses. My daughter was also seventeen and a junior. Even once they have their license, driving privileges can be revoked. In Virginia, I can just call the DMV and with no justification other than my parental preference my child’s license will be suspended for six months. The credible threat of such a phone call makes a very big impression.

4. The state of Virginia says teens must have their license for one full year before they can drive after midnight, carry more than one passenger or use a cell phone while driving—including one with a hands-free option. If these are not your state laws, make them your parental laws.

5. Light a candle, get your Rosary out, and pray. In spite of everything you say and do, teens can and do make mistakes. My oldest totaled his car at college a few months ago. He replaced it once he came home for the summer. I made sure he had our parish priest bless his new car. Sometimes seatbelts, air bags, and prudent driving habits are not enough.

In addition to my suggestions, the Vatican has offered a few tips for motorists.

"Cars particularly lend themselves to being used by their owners to show off, and as a means for outshining other people and arousing a feeling of envy," it said.

It urged readers not to behave in an "unsatisfactory and even barely human manner" when driving and to avoid what it called "unbalanced behavior ... impoliteness, rude gestures, cursing, blasphemy ..."

Praying while driving was encouraged.


I drove to New Jersey for a soccer tournament this past weekend. I wish several of the drivers I encountered along I-95 as well as the New Jersey Turnpike had seen this Vatican document before they took to the road. I found my travels this weekend were a definite challenge to my virtue of patience and constituted a near occasion of sin! Prayer was a necessity.


yubi2 said...

Amen....I thought you may find this article from the Weary Parent site helpful also.

Rookie Driver - Keeping New Drivers Safe
by char on June 12th, 2007
One of the best ways to help keep new teen drivers safe is by giving them a way to be identified as new drivers by others on the road. It has been a long standing tradition in Europe to identify cars being driven by “Learners” with a very easy to identify “L” sticker. By alerting other drivers on the road of the new drivers, experienced drivers can give them more room, be more cautious and a little more understanding when minor courtesy mistakes are made.

Rookie Driver is bringing the awareness to the US, using a fun, teen accepted, car magnet that says Rookie Driver. Afterall, being “Rookie of the Year” is cool in sports, and to teens Rookie Driver is more acceptable than Student Driver or other terms.

The Rookie Driver web site also includes an entire page of teen driving safety links. Definitely worth a look if you have a rookie driver or one who is soon to be.

Catholic Mom said...

Here is the link for the Rookie Driver Web Site. Very helpful!

Anonymous said...

Great information - and great website. As more parents learn about teen driving statistics = hopefully they will do the right thing and do everything the can to safe guard their kids!

Barb, sfo said...

You're right about that near occasion of sin thing. Do you think the priest will laugh next time I am in confession and mention "road rage?"

Kitchen Madonna said...

Who are the car saints? There have to be a lot of them up there after 100 years of cars. Think about it! Just call on the car saints, they understand if we don't know their names or if they haven't been raised to the glory of the altars yet!

Catholic Mom said...


I did a little searching and found St. Frances of Rome:

On her feast day priests bless cars due to her patronage of cars and drivers. Frances certainly never drove, but legend says that when she went abroad at night, her guardian angel went before her lighting the road with a headlight-like lantern, keeping her safe in her travels.

Michelle said...

When we went to the pool this evening, there was a sign that it would be closed tomorrow afternoon and Friday morning for the funeral of one of the lifeguards. I came home and went right to your link and sure enough, she was one of the girls in this accident.

Such a shame. I know I did stupid things when I was in my twenties, and I am grateful to God for being alive today. I pray that all our teens and young adults make wiser and safer decisions.

Jim said...

As one of your Jersey fans, I am certainly sorry to hear that you had a tough time here in the Garden State. A little friendly advice: The next time you are on the NJ Turnpike, use the Cars Only lane and stay in the right lane. Regrettably, our State Police do a poor job of enforcing the speed limits here. As a result .... Well, you've seen the result. Again, I am sorry you had such a bad experience here. That said, I hope you bought some decent bagels while you were here. :-)

With respect to your suggestions, I would only add one: Get your kid one of those GPS type cell phones. I am talking about one of those phones that allow others to know precisely where the cell phone is at any given moment. If the phone is in a moving car, it will even tell you the speed at which the car is moving. Please see:

Accu Tracking: Eyes At Your Fingertips