Pull up a chair in my domestic church and let's chat!

I have worn many labels (Not in any particular order): Catholic, Wife, Mom,Gramma, Doctor, Major, Soccer Mom, Military Wife, Professor, Fellow.

All of these filter my views of the world. I hope that like St. Monica, I can through prayer, words and example, lead my children and others to Faith.
"The important thing is that we do not let a single day go by in vain without putting it to good use for eternity"--Blessed Franz Jägerstätter

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Reminders to pray for families

I have no illusions that today’s popular culture is in line with the orthodox Catholic culture I try to create for my family. However, some days I really feel like I have entered an alien universe. I found myself in a waiting room yesterday morning. I hadn’t really planned for much of a wait so I was without my own reading material. I picked up the latest issue of Redbook and perused a few pages. I had read Redbook on a more regular basis during my college years, but my interests took me in other directions as I got older. Returning to it now I was greeted with the latest installment of a series entitled Sex and the Single Mom by Emily Listfield. This month’s issue details how Ms. Listfield can’t wait to send her thirteen-year-old daughter off to camp for a month so she can enjoy a month of sexual pleasures without worrying about being discreet around her daughter. Never mind that she doesn’t have a husband or even a steady boyfriend. This is going to be a month of uninhibited lusty adventures. Well, the month doesn’t turn out exactly as planned, though not for her lack of trying. Am I really supposed to find this entertaining? As a modern American woman am I supposed to relate to this? I thought feminism was supposed to liberate women from being sex objects. Yet here we have one of the radical feminist magazines celebrating a woman who defines herself by her sexual prowess.

Then I left the waiting room and went in for my appointment. The woman who was helping me began to chat about her only child. He is soon to be five. She laughed about how this little tyke was always calling her “dumb-head” or “rude-head” or “meanie” when she told him to do something. Isn’t it amazing how they pick up these things from older children? Of course she doesn’t tell him it is wrong to call his mother these names. Highlighting something as negative just makes him want to do it more. She just lets the names go without comment and figures he will quit using them if she doesn’t make a big deal about it. Am I that far removed from raising pre-schoolers that I don’t understand this parenting style? I think the child will more likely continue this pattern of disrespect because his mother’s silence means consent. Do today’s young parents really believe that bad behavior will extinguish itself without correction? Our labeling of something as bad is what perpetuates a child’s inappropriate behavior?

Most (but not all) of the parents I interact with through soccer teams, school, Boy Scouts, or church activities are closer to my own image of parenting than those I encountered yesterday morning. Yesterday’s experiences were stark reminders of the broad spectrum of parenting styles that are shaping our culture’s next generation. I will do what I can within my own little domestic church to influence this culture. I hope this blog helps others build up their own domestic churches. I really encourage anyone who might be interested to take a look at the series of posts, Keeping your Kids Catholic, linked on the left sidebar. This book by Bert Ghezzi has been a huge help to me over the last twenty years. Finally, we all need to get to our knees and pray. Place all families under the patronage of the Holy Family. The health and holiness of our families will determine the health and holiness of our society.


Ebeth said...

I couldn't agree with you more! I'm praying!! This has been a rant of mine for YEARS!!!!

Climbing for better parenting!!

Christine the Soccer Mom said...

Want to hear something scary? In college, I was told that if children are misbehaving to ignore smaller behaviors because they'll just extinguish themselves as long as no reinforcement is given.

This was for a degree in elementary education, taught in a class on behavior management.

I'd actually forgotten that tidbit until I read this, which is fortunate. Hubby and I take no gruff from the girls. Nip it in the bud, follow the "broken window" theory...whatever you call it, you don't let insolence go on like that.

"Experts" indeed!

David Jackson said...

Ah, my poor sheltered big sister. Rejoice you don't live in the People's Republic of Portland Oregon where two 15-year-old teenage girls where kicked off a public bus for making out with each other...and the parents are outraged at the bus driver...the transit company he works for has suspended him...and the media has portrayed the teens as victims.

Michelle said...

It won't be long before he stops calling her a dumb-head or a meanine. Soon he'll learn better insults. Maybe by the time he's ten he'll have learned the "b" word and the "c" word and he can just stick with that through adulthood.

Ebeth said...

Just in my emailbox, AFA has a message about Redbook, 'Redbook magazine endorses hedonistic sex" We need to respond to this issue with them and their desire to expose our young people to this kind of looseness.


Anonymous said...

For those of us troubled parents who know we aren't doing as well as we ought and aren't sure what we're doing wrong, what would you recommend? I could echo (and agree with!) all your complaints about modern youth, were it not for the fact that I fear I'm raising more just like them.

Tired and frustrated mom

Catholic Mom said...

Tired and Frustrated Mom,

Please don't think I have this parenting thing all figured out. I'm just doing the best I can. I tried to answer your question here. Hope this helps.